These 2 Days...

I'm here to reiterate what happened this two days.

Sunday 26th Oct

I was planning a cohesion for the dragon folks in the morning. Was thinking of Sentosa. So I did up a proposal. Need to let Gim Hock read my idea first. I have yet to email him 'cause it's not really finished yet.

Afternoon. I went to sell my Nokia 6500 slide for $220 at Toa Payoh. I don't really need the phone anyways and furthermore my family is going through some problems now. I loitered around Toa Payoh area for a while more before heading to Orchard. Am meeting Alvin, Kang Wei and Zhi Xiang for movie. Reached Orchard quite early so went window shopping. Was loitering around before I decided to go Paragon to see whether Peishan is there True enough; she's there at the service desk, doing some work. When I called her, she was like stunned. We chatted for a while. She said Paragon has changed a lot. Now when she talks to a customer she needs to stand up and etc. I don't want to disturb her so I took my leave to go HMV. I was like standing there watching Iron Man for a while.

Meet up with Zhi Xiang and Alvin at Somerset Station at 3pm. Kang Wei messaged to say that he will meet us at Cineleisure Orchard. Alvin and Kangwei was playing arcade before we went upstairs to watch movie. We watched 20th Century Boys. I don't know why so many people say not nice loh. I find it like damn power loh, especially like when you like really want to find out what will happen next. Then some parts are also funny. Then it's a to be continued movie. The next part is th 21st Century Boys, which will release on 31st Jan next year. Alvin was like 'Steady huh. Steady huh.' when we were moving out of the cinema. I take that as a promise that the 4 of us will watch the second part together...

Was having a hard time deciding on where to have dinner, especially when all of us are indecisive people. In the end we went the little food court at Lucky Plaza's basement. Zhi Xiang was having Tom Yam Soup, then he was like sweating all the way when he's eating. I had Chicken Chop rice and Kang Wei had some Teochew dried meepoh. After that we went shopping at Ngee Ann City's Art Friend. Me and Zhi Xiang were like looking at everything, as in like look look, see see, then comment. Most of our comments are like 'Wow! So expensive huh.' Kang Wei bought some stuffs. Alvin and Zhi Xiang went home after that while Kang Wei continue his shopping elsewhere. I went to meet Champ and Chen Leong 'cause they are celebrating Champ's birthday in town. Was window shopping with them. I have not seen them in don't know how many donkey years already. When their other friend came along I took my leave. They are going to Ding Tai Feng then I was like don't feel like spending so much money already. Plus, it's Champ's birthday and since he had already decided on the place I guess that I shouldn't ruin their plans because of me.

Am on my way home when Jin Tai messaged to say that the guys are meeting up at 925 to talk cock. So took a detour and went to 925 to meet my usual hang out mates: Dennis, Jin Long, Jin Tai, and Xin Ying. The guys just enlisted, so they are like thrilled to discuss what they had experienced. Most of the time I was listening to them. I had been through what they are going to go through so I know exactly how they feel. 12 plus, we went back home. I'm very tired already. Yawnzz.

Saturday 25th Oct

Went to Toa Payoh with Jin Tai. He need to buy some stuffs and I need to hunt for a good place to sell my phone. Sighs. My dad's boss have not give him his pay for don't know how long already. So was walking around Toa Payoh asking every ventor I see about the maximum price my phone can fetch. In the end I never sell today 'cause I forgot to bring out my charger.

Went to Chervons' Emart thereafter 'cause Jin Tai want to buy things for his book in on Monday. After that went Jurong area eat lunch before he meet his friend. I went Orchard's HMV to browse for CDs again. Have the urge to buy but no money already.

Came back Khatib and went to buy cake for Mum, 'cause her birthday mah yesterday. Then went to grandma's house to celebrate with the rest of my relavtives.

[simply happy zishen]

Alpha Cohesion @ Sentosa

Today was Alpha's Cohesion at Sentosa Costa Sand Resort. I have not have so much fun in a very very very long time... ... Thanks to all Alpha out there that make this happened! I had lots and lots and lots of fun! Anyway I had took tons of photographs and I certainly will remember this day.

Anyways I finally understood one thing today: I choose whether I want to be happy or not. So today I choose to be happy!! Even though I just went around taking photos, I am happy about what I am doing.

So when the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world! Cheeerrs!

[simply HAPPY zishen]

Reflections

Nothing much happened today. Initially I asked Zhi Xiang in the morning whether he wanted to watch movie in the afternoon 'cause he was like telling me he don't know what to do today also. I guess it's next book out.


So here I am. I just returned from grandma's place. Am a bit bored down there actually, and tired. I just feel like blogging. Well I guess I've made it part of my life now. I just need to tell people how I feel about what has been going on in my life. I guess I'm that kind of person that am afraid to be alone. I have always been alone since grade five, ever since my mum starts working. I guess I'm afraid to be like that again, although I'm kind of free to do with I desire.


















I remember this place. It's the bus interchange at Sengkang, the waiting place for bus service 965. This is the place where I last saw Gim Hock, on 30th Septmber. The place where we parted after our last meet up for dinner. He promised me that we will meet up soon. I hope he keeps his promise.

I'm online most of the time now because I was hoping that he would come online. It's not me to stay up after eleven at night 'cause it's just not me. But now I find myself online until one plus two in the morning. Zhi Xiang will know. Part of the reason that I'm online is because he's online. I will know where to find him. Laughs.

I think that I am really thinking too much, especially so for Gim Hock and Zhi Xiang. I don't know why.

even couples also need time off for themselves, wad more friends? esp guys lah. some guys r juz so blunt sometimes they would b totally oblivious to others feelings

so ya lor.. dont b upset or disappointed. if they're truly ur friends, they'll stick around for a long time to come

These are Waye Ning's word. So even though Gim Hock never really message me what-so-ever, I am glad 'cause I know that he is okay and that's why he didn't contact me. Furthermore he has his girlfriend. So I shouldn't be like suoffcating him or disturbing his life. Zhi Xiang has his life too.

I'm just too close for comfort to them, ever since I lost a friend.

[simply lonely zishen]

Cohesion Day

Today is kind of like a cohesion day. Quite tiring also, 'cause woke up like quite early to go to Hort Park at Queens Way there for Division Family Day. Actually it's kind of stupid, 'cause like we go there for the sake of going there (like go there show face only). But I managed to get permission from DY to go off early to renew my passport, 'cause am going to Malaysia with Zhi Xiang they all. So, for the morning, I was like walking around the park with Shengyu and Desmond. Then we went to watch the performance at the Multi Purpose Area, 'cause like outside very hot then we sit inside enjoy the fan. The entertainer was like very gay! Well, he's the entertainer so he needs to be that way; don't blame him, he's earning a living also. What surprised me most is when Ang was like making fun of me again. I was like rather surprised 'cause he hasn't been talking much to me since what happened back in August and whenever I tried to talk to him he will only like give me those one-word answers or nod head or shake head. He won't really talk to me until when the need comes. But today, he was like making fun of me again. Not that I mind; I'm quite happy actually that he did.

So I went off half way, around 10 plus wiht Zhi Xiang they all, to go settle our holiday stuffs. We dropped by ICA building first to renew my passport. Matthew was like complaining that last time when he came he was like waiting freaking long for his turn, when we took only like half an hour now. Then we went to 707 Travel that we went yesterday to place out bookings. Matthew and Ming Dong were like asking about everything. Me and Zhi Xiang were like listening beside. I don't really care much about a few bucks. I'm quite tired actually so I was like lying on the table and Zhi Xiang was like frequently checking on me to see whether I got listen to what is said. I was like thinking: with Matthew around should be okay, 'cause he will like make sure that everything is okay. The Free and Easy Package costs $188 4D3N KL Malacca. So we are leaving on 29th Oct, then come back on 1st Nov.

After that Zhi Xiang went around picking up advertisements for his mum before we dismissed from there. Took 100 with Zhi Xiang. He's watching Southpark on his PSP then was telling me about Lost. It's good to just listen to him talk; makes me feel like... wonderful. I was like sleeping 'cause I'm tired and I don't want to disturb Zhi Xiang watching Southpark. He woke me up when we reach the MRT which I alight and took to Sengkang to meet Shengyu they all to go Uncle Jackson's place.

Uncle Jackson's house is like our gambling den. My main purpose of going there is to give him the shoe he asked me buy for him. I was kind of bored in the afternoon 'cause everyone is like gambling, majong etc. Text messaged Gim Hock to ask whether he want to meet me 'cause I feel like looking him up since he lives in Sengkang also but he's not home so gave up the idea. I played Majong with Roger Shi Ping and Yi Kuang in the evenings. Won $14. Laughs. I have to admit that I have improved a bit ever since Uncle Jackson shamed me in Majong last year at the chalet. I have learnt a lot from him, from Majong to life's problems.

Went back around 8 plus. Met up with Jinlong Huixian and Xin Ying at Northpoint's MacDonalds to 'talk cock'. So, yup, I just came back. Actually am kind of expecting Zhi Xiang to be online. I don't know but MSN feels different without him online. Wait. Wait.

Am missing a lot of friends.

[simply tired zishen]

These 2 Days...

Thursday 16th Oct
S2/S3 Branch Cohesion

Yesterday we had branch cohesion at Aranda Country Club. We were told to meet in the morning 'cause apparently it's still a working day. I met Cheuk Yin first at Pasir Ris station, and he was telling me about girls passing by here are like very 'chio'. Laughs. Met up with the rest in a short while. Nicholas was late so we waited for him while looking at Cheuk Yin eating his MacDonalds breakfast. Met up with the S3 folks before we prodeed to Pasir Ris Park to play sorcer. Steven make spoil my slippers! Hmph! Am kind of angry 'cause I've been wearing the slippers for like 3 years already, and I like it very much. So was walking bare footed all the way back to Downtown East to get slippers. The slippers at Cheers are cheap, but very gay! All of them are like pink! In the end, I bought one from next door. Costed me $7.90. Went to play arcade at the new E! Hub. E! Hub is like build for those Sec 1, 2 and 3 people and those primary school kids.

Went to the chalet after that. So yup did what we did at every other chalet; Wii, XBox, Majong, Gamble, BBQ... I was doing media coverage most of the time. Not really in the mood to enjoy. Want to play Majong with them, but they play every big. Lucky I never play; Encik lose like hundred over dollars. Slept quite early like 10 plus, 'cause quite tired and nothing much to do.

Friday 17th Oct
Holiday Hunting II

Woke up around 8am. Throughout the night I was like sleeping on the floor at chalet, and was like waking up every 2 hours. Checked out from the chalet around 9.30am. We parted after breakfast at Downtown East's Food Court.

Met Zhi Xiang, Matthew and Ming Dong to hunt for holidays packages again, but this time we went to Golden Mile, 'cause all the better Malaysia deals are there. We went to eat Lao Beijing Hi Tea Buffet first 'cause Matthew jio, say yesterday the TV got introduce then like very nice and affordable also. Quite nice. After which we went to Golden Mile to ask around about their Free and Easy Packages to KL. The 707 Travel one is the cheapest. like around $150 only for 4D3N. We went back there after 'cause Zhi Xiang is meeting friend and Matthew is going to teach tuition. I dropped by Junction 8 on my way home 'cause I needed to but a new bag (all my bag all spoil already!) BHG got a sale going on so went there. Bought a Nike sling bag. $49.90. And a new shorts. $9.90.

Chat with an Old Friend

Was talking to Waye Ning just now. I didn't expect her to be reading my blog, but apparently she did. Was quite happy that she did. After all, she is the knowledgeable one. She taught me quite a lot today:

u're e only one who can make urself happy. or not. u know.

life's like that. ppl come n go. things happen all the time. nothing can affect u badly unless u allow it to.

dont care how ppl look at u. u're e way you are, not for others but for urself.

as long as u're true to urself, no one else can fault u on anything.

even if u cant, put it at the back of ur mind. dont let past mistakes affect ur life forever

make urself a happier person okay.

Thanks Waye Ning. I'll keep what you told me today in mind. Appreciate you taking precious time off your heavy workload to tell me all that. Let's go visit Mrs Lee together with the rest soon okie!

[simply glad zishen]

Holiday Hunting

Today I went holiday hunting with Ming Dong and Matthew. Zhi Xiang can't join us since he's deployed. So suay! Train services was disrupted from Sembawang to Khatib. Argh! So angry. So I took 851 to Ang Mo Kio then take train. And apparently, everybody is like doing the same thing so the bus is kind of pack.

Reached Chinatown MRT station around 1pm to meet Matthew and Ming Dong. The afternoon was used to hunt for a holiday package. We are like walking everywhere between People Parks Complex and Centre. Initially I managed to convince them to go on a cruise trip. But October is packed and everything's full! In the end we decided to go the Golden Mile to hunt for Free and Easy KL travel this coming Friday.

Am excited 'cause tomorrow am going to Sakura International Buffet! Woohhoooo!

Ohh. I have typed an email with I want wanted to tell Janson and has forwarded to him already. It's all up to him now.

Am happy now 'cause I am happy and there's nothing that anyone can do about it. Miss Jintai and Dennis. They enlisted on Thursday.

[simply happy zishen]

Reading my Past Entries

I was just reading my past entries and recalled some of the past events mentioned. I feel emo again. About my past. My earlier entries were like more of what-happened-for-the-day kind of entries. As it goes on, I started putting in how I feel about certain events. And I realise most of the entries in 2007 was about studying at Khatib MacDonalds with Janson. Only now did I realised how much time have I spent studying with him last year. But look at us now: we are not talking to each other. Maybe it's more of I don't want to talk to him. Apparently he is not the only one with big ego.

Err... so what am I emo-ing about now? Actually, I also don't know. Like just feel emo reading my past entries.

[simply loser zishen]

癒しの瞬

Today's title is in Japanese. It's a title of a soundtrack from Hero, the Japanese movie. From what Kang Wei says, 癒しの瞬 means something like 'healing blink'.

I guess I'm 'healing' from my emo-ness. Slowly. I think I learn something from the past few months: Friends stick together to the end, and no one should be left behind or forgotten. I will remember those who had left my life, and the times we have shared... Although I can't stop my friends from coming and going, but I wouldn't miss it for the world. I know who are my true friends now. And I am happy actually.

That day I saw her. She's with another guy. I ought to be jealous. But strangely, I'm not. I'm actually happy, like just to see her. And I don't feel anything le. Normally when I'm with her or if I see her, I will be like.... woohoo! But now, that 'woohoo' feeling is gone. And I am delighted. 拿得起，放得下，是快乐之本。I understand now.

I want to thank those who had called me, text messaged me and/or comfort me on MSN. Thank you. Gim Hock. Zhi Xiang. Li Min. Jason. Sheng Yu. Wei Lun. Marilyn. Elton. Matthew. Just to name a few, in no particular order. A very big thank you from me!

My birthday is coming soon. So am looking forward to it! ;) Let's see how many people actually remembered.

[simply loser zishen]

Li Min:

Thanks, Li Min, for everything that you've said to me just now. It has certainly makes me feel better... ...

Anyways I had dinner with my sergeant, Cheuk Yin, just now at West Mall and he told me about stuffs too.

And I didn't realise that I'm on the same train as Peishan; she was just in the next cabin.

Anyways, thanks, Li Min.

[simply loser zishen]

The Missing Part...

I was text messaging Gim today. I guess I am like growing a bit too close for comfort to him. Apparently he's one of the very few people that I can turn to now. I skipped today's outing with Dennis and Jin Tai, because I don't feel like going Queensway and I feel like watching House Bunny. They called me up around 11am and say that they don't mind watching after they had done their errands. I told them never mind, because like I just met them on Saturday so it's justifiable to meet other of my friends.

Sad to say, I am a loser; I called up and text messaged to a lot of people. No one reply. No one picked up the phone. No one. No one. Elton is the only one who reply my message, and I truly am glad that he did. If not I would be like 'emo-ing' at home again.

So, while waiting for Elton at Yishun GV, I was text messaging Gim Hock, and he was like telling me "Dun be so pessimistic k?". I was telling him about this world being cruel and unfair and apparently there is nothing really forward looking about, except maybe his commission. I guess I am afraid to loss this friendship of mine with Gim, like how I lost mine with Janson. Apparently, I am growing too close for comfort to Gim because of that. When he don't reply to my messages, I would feel sad; When he messaged me about him being stressed, I want to be beside him to comfort him; When he tell me he has do to guard duty and can't attend his granddad's birthday party, I had that urge to replace him for his duty; When he calls me up, I feel over the moon, even more happy than striking lottery; When I see something nice, I want to buy it for him; When he tells me about his training, I wished that I can be with him... I guess that's why I have been emo-ing about, our friendship, our brotherhood... ... Without him, I feel empty...

Anyways Elton was like 20 minutes late. I was like telling him about how I hate late comers. He say "Still early lah! The movie won't start so early one." And yes that was the case; when we entered the cinema, they are still screening the advertisements and after like a few, Elton will turn to me and say "See?! Haven start yet!". I was like smiling to myself. We watched House Bunny, and it's like damn funny. When I hear Elton laughed beside me, I feel happy, like very joyful and suddenly I was like forgot about all my worries and problems. It just makes me want to laugh together with him. I'm contented with just this, with just a friend beside me, as we laugh together.

After movie, we loitered around Popular for a while before he says he had a stomachache and we walked all the way down to the first floor one 'cause the second floor is full and the third floor is closed. After which we went KFC 'cause I want to 'dapao' Zinger home. And then we parted at OCBC.

Goodbyes were never easy for me, especially with friends that I don't usually meet up with. I just need to be with my friends...

[simply loser zishen][depressed][empty]