Sunday, September 20, 2009

Why am I doing this again?

The feeling of being alone isn't great at all. Not a single bit. The bus ride to camp was cold. And lonely. Only the presence of my Zen Stone comforted me a little. Throughout the ride, I was looking out of the window. I enjoyed the bus trip nonetheless because of the coldness and lonliness. It's when I shut the whole world up and keep my thoughts to myself.

Loads happened. I still have not get over the incident two weeks ago. Actually I am kind of restricting myself, in case I do harm to someone again. There was a repeat of the incident actually. So I was like thinking "Why am I doing this again?!" when I was talking to Sam. I am very disappointed in myself. For the first time in ages, I ran. The wind blow against my face. The tasted the salt of my sweat as it rolls down the front of my head. Why? Why am I doing this again?! Zishen, you are WEAK!

The rest of the week was rather routine. Again. Took leave on Friday.

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