Thoughts

Dad isn't free to fetch me to camp today. So, of course, I have to go to camp myself. Not a bad idea actually; I need to escape from the world and have a little bit of space for just myself.

Have been having mood swings quite often last week. I sometimes feel like I'm not giving in 100 % into what I should be doing and what people expects me to do. Like, I would just do the minimum to like keep myself 'alive'. I'm not committed enough I guess. I think I should also change the way that I talk to people also. It's time to get more serious. As in about life, about work.

Was on the train just now. I let myself drown in my own thinking, music from my MP3 blasting through the ear piece as pictures of thoughts fills my head. Was thinking about my family. We have been going through quite a lot these past few months. I feel sorry for myself and my family sometimes because like I can't do much now to help improve the family. I wished I was better. I was at King Albert Park 's Cold Storage last Wednesday, buying some snacks for my office. I was like pushing the trolley up and down the alleys . I recalled how me and my dad use to go to NTUC every Sunday last time to shop. I would like just dump everything I want into the trolley because I don't need to pay. Now, everything that I picked up from the shelf, I would have to think whether it is really needed. I missed shopping with my dad, not because he's my ATM, I just missed him as a person.

At least the Sentosa trip yesterday with Dennis, Jin Tai, Jin Long, Clement, and Xin Ying lets me 'escape' from this cruel world for a while. Was fun just lying there and doing nothing much except for lazing around. They kept asking me about her. Dennis was like 'How long you like already? 5 years already leh still don't know to say huh.' Yeah. Five years. And I still have yet to tell her. Cathay Picture House and Plaza Singapura. Our 'lao di fan'. Every time I pass by that area, I will always think of the movies that we have watched together there, and the meals that we had eaten. Miss her. I hope she is doing well.

So here I am, in office. Have no idea what will happen tomorrow. Well; expect nothing, they say, because you will be disappointed if tomorrow isn't what you've expected... ...