2 days before first book in

haha. just came back from tekong on wednesday nite. so fast lah. 4 days alr. need to book in on x'mas nite. sianzz lah. then next book out is on 30th. haaiiii. wonder how they will torture us when we go back in. might as well make tekong my home since going to be there lyk until march next year.

anyway today went to ah ma house for our family x'mas get-together. haha. cannot eat too much cuz if go back tekong and gain weight, then will kana confinement. so didnt eat much. had a little ham and turkey and broccoli. was chatting with my cousins abt my army stuffs and they were telling me what i shld do for different trainings. lolx. shld listen to their advise cuz like they in army before me so shld know more. then in the afternoon went out with elton to watch movie. i think elton now is like my movie buddy. haha. we watch quite a number of movies tgt in this 2 months. then we talk cock talk cock after the movie and loiter around north point for a while. talked abt his family stuffs at the terminals. feel sorry for him. if it happens to my family, i wont be who i am today. after he left on his bus, i went back to ah ma house for dinner. same. turkey, ham and broccoli. now just played command and conquer generals.

2 more bloody days to book in! (why i have this bad feeling?)

and i hope she is doing well. . .

1 day before army

tml army le. nervous.

and i hope she is doing well. . .

2 days before army

didnt do much this morning. juz need for speed, friendster, and clearing my desk and arranging my math stuffs. lots of papers around; dun even know which one is for which prelim paper one. lolx. loser me. went northpoint in the afternoon like 12 plus to buy goggles for army. it's a speedo pacific storm. haha. cost $19.90. bought cuz it's like one of the cheapest i can find, and dun look so nude. anyway, here's a photo of it taken by my L6. my dig cam kana spoil by my baby brother. so angry with him lah.

after that went janson's place for a while he kana eye infection and cuz of tt his dad ground him. so sad. watch a few episode of naruto with him. oh yah, bought some mini tarts for him since he hasnt had lunch and his mum cant come back in time to da bao for him. anyway, his dog super active lah. haven go inside his hse its like sniffing all over and when i went inside it's like climbing all over me. lolx.

went to visit ah ma after that. long time nv see ah ma and ah gong alr. brought some bao and egg tart for them. haha. juz nice i reach they having tea. lolx. so join them. talk abt stuffs. after that went NTUC get some stuffs for my army. shampoo etc.

going army in one more donkey day. . .

and i hope she is doing well. . .

3 days before army. . .

woke up like 8 in the morning. still feeling veri emo (abt her). finished watching star wars i borrowed from wei lun ytd. haha. wanna burn but cannot; the cd is copyrighted (expected lah). the edited version sure is better. as in better link with episode 1, 2 and 3. and also better graphics and animation (the lightsaber in episode 4 looks more real now).

nth to do. so jio elton watch movie again. took us like an hour to decide what to watch. in the end, i was like 'okie; i wanna watch enchanted. u wan? if not i go myself.' haha. so yah went to watch enchanted. omg! big mistake! elton was like telling me 'it's so gay!' when we buy the tickets. well i dunno then. i onli realise that when we walk in the threatre; omg! like 80% of the audience are gals!!! then me and elton sit tgt like veri gay. lolx. and and and, elton smuggle 2 bubble teas in. haha. i dunno abt that in the first place. i onli know when he lyk suddenly took them out from his bag. lolx. all in all, the movie like veri funny. fairy tale in reality. haha. after movie. we loiter around northpoint and talk abt stuffs. abt elton's eye candy. abt my love life. and lots more. i tell him abt her going out soon with another guy, and he told me '... and u can bear with that??!!!' oof cuz i cannt! but apparently there's nth i can do abt it. went NTUC again get supplies cuz elton booking in again later at 10pm. but cool leh. he book in sbw. so dun need to travel so far. then can even leave home late. so good.

am going army in 3 more donkey days! wish me luck (i'm going to need it).

and i hope she is doing well. . .

emoism

veri emo this 2 days. dunno how is started too. lolx. yah. have been thinking. thinking abt her. thinking abt the time we have spent tgt. i missed her. alot alot. when i see smth pretty, i wish i can buy for her. when she is beside me, i am happy. when she is not beside me, i missed her. i dunno. i just luv her. simply luv her. to me, she's my everything. i wanna tell her. but smth hold me back. u r risking your friendship with her, i told myself. and i cant bear it. i cant think of my life without her anymore. she had a so big impact on my life ever since i know her. ever since i luv her. i know. many guys are after her. so to her, i maybe juz a waste-of-sperms. she was so near, yet so far. that day i stood beside her, how i long that she was mine. i had love her secretly for quite a while now. my friends say she knows tt; it's like extra-super obvious. but she is still talking to me. she is still hanging out with me. so i doubt she knows. or does she?

the question is burning in me: does she like me too? i dont expect her to like me. i mean c'mon, i'm super fat! who would like a fat guy?! all i hope for is for her to be by my side. and to love her secretly. nic say if i like her, then i shldnt be like wanting her to accept me like the way i like her; i shld be like hoping for her happiness.

but i guess i'm not that wei da after all. i enjoyed the time we spent tgt, even if it's just standing on the MRT or just sitting around doing nth much. but i guess its not going to happen for quite a while now. i'm going army in like 3 more donkey days. janson was like saying: tell her before you enlist. that's what trouble me. by the time i come out from army she will have a boy friend le. haaaaiiii. peishan told me to have confidence in myself. i just cant find it in me.

i'm lost. . . and emo.

but am still loving her secretly. . .